Knitting Circles

What is the deal with knitting and crochet blogs? Every blogger couples up with another hooker to exchange their wares, usually in the form of something as useless as a doily or a sock. Why?

Would I feel better if I found a ranting partner and exchanged her rants for mine? Hers might be worse than mine. Every pain is unique and it cannot be exchanged or explained. My blog rant is a lonely shack in a secluded forest where only the trees sway in reverence. It is a lonely club that nobody wants to join for any length of time. There’s a KEEP OUT SIGN on the door.

Also…without any prior warning, these knitters post pictures of their latest orthodontic work and iced cake creations. Why? Do they have ADHD and can’t concentrate for long enough to know that yarns and braces don’t make good soul mates. Just think of all the frayed selvedges! And what is going on with those dreadful ponchos that dominate every blog? Do they think a poncho is attractive? I think not. Just because it is an easy knit does not give it a free pass into a wardrobe. Somebody should collect all the ponchos in one gigantic bonfire blog. Maybe they already have. Go visit your friend’s wardrobe. Do you see a poncho? No. Go visit a random wardrobe. Do you see a poncho? No. Is it a disposable item, or what? Do they give off hypnotic vibes that whisper, “Buy me - make my day” and “make me”?

And … what is the point of photographing skeins and skeins of cotton chenille, choo-choo shimmer, popcorn fruit salad bobble, merino stardust and Waikiki limeade, plus the closet where this yarn is stored, plus empty hangers where there will be a finished product at some point in the blog, but the artefacts made of said beautiful materials never actually make an appearance.

And whilst we are on the subject of needles and pins – Who, who, who in the world uses a pincushion when there are enough soft furnishings around the place to do exactly the same job? The carpet is an example. Most sewing patterns need to be spread out across a goodly part of the floor. The carpet is the best and most versatile pincushion and a magnet is quite good for retrieving the pins before scraping them back into the pin pot.